The Christian Foodie: what has God given you?

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

what has God given you?

How easy is it for us to think, o no, God hasn't given me this, o no God hasn't given me that, God mustn't love me cos he hasn't done this for me, The world tells us to look at the things we haven't got and go "I want that" and we think God loves us, he will give us to us, and when he doesn't we go off one on

I've been in a state of wanting stuff for a while, as someone who has spent a large portion of there lives as a single guy (and to be fair my one and only girl friend finished me the day after valentines day to go out with someone she had been sleeping with for 2 of the 3 months we had been going out, and I wasn't giving her sex- the fact she was 15 and I'd only just 16, and a newly saved Christian never came in to her head- thats why I'd advise sticking to Christian partners, either that or get 'em saved first!) the thought of 'am I going to be single forever' does have an annoying patten of entering my head, just when I don't need it to

Which is what had happened recently, Over the past few months, my work load had increased so I'd been unable to spend as much time spending it with friends and more time stuck behind my laptop reading revison notes, and working, and I'd get in to a patten of waking up, switching and not leaving my room all day except to go to the loo and maybe eat lunch (probibly the biggest sign of something is wrong with me, is if I don't seem to be around at meal times) to the point I'd miss lectures, CU and an a couple of occasions church, I'd stopped reading the bible as offen as I did (I only averaged 3-4 days a week before that anyway)

Of cource this lead to me being lonely, and on the few occations I did leave, probbibly snaped at someone, or said something I shouldn't have and that left me feeling more and more alinated and more alone, and thus ment I snaped more and smiled less, even small groups was starting to feel like a chore not something I love, though it was no ones falt but my own

then only days ago I'd snaped at two people, that had no reason to be snapped at, saying to one, that was talking to me, when what had actually happened was I'd got so caught up in the patten, of work that I'd stopped listning to God, even using an idea someone once told me of working to worship music was not getting through, and it had been just music to me. and after telling him that God didn't care and he didn't care I went to bed to sleep.......

Or that was the plan, cos after about 2 hours of tossing and turning and trying to settle and drop off, it hit me, I was lonly beacuse I'd cut my self off, I wasn't hearning God cos I wasn't listning to him, I wasn't praising God for what he had given me, cos I was so obbsessed with what he hadn't, and for the first time in about a month, I prayed outside of church/CU- though it wasn't as much of a prayer and more of a slient (being 3 am in the morning with your parents on one side and you sister on the other isn't good for shouting prayers!) cry of needingness (is that even a word??) before crying my self to sleep

The next morning I awoke and went about the normal homely life of breakfast, surfing the net for an hour or so, getting a shower and then was just about to get on with work, when I looked out of the window for what must of been the first time since I got home

Now the view from my window, is something for me of beauty. It looks out over out back garden which my mum works at all summer mosly so it looks at its best (it was pritty much begining to bloom at the moment) and was filled with so many diffrent plants and colours I had to stop and look at it, Then behind that is a field streched out filled and then behind that where beautifull rolling hills and I stood there for a second and looked out over it and though "wow. God created that view for me, and I'm moaning he doesn't care about me"

I then though back to my testomony (if you havn't read it yet, go read now, go on there on the right hand side), which I'd typed up for this blog only days before and though "God has done all this for me and I'm moaning he hasn't done anything for me"

I sat down to my laptop and two things happenen which made me think- The first was that spotify in its usefull advertising way desided to tell me it had a related artisit feature- to which normaly my responce was "swichfoot/rend collective, and busy" though even I'd not even realy been listning- it had just been playing in the background however this morning I desided to try it out, and so desided to add a few tracks from a band named Gungor (go check them out, 'The earth is yours' is a great track!) to my playlist, which actually got me thinking "God is awesome and I'm moaning his isn't cos I've not allowed worship to remind of it"

and then to cap it off, the friend I'd been moaning to about being lonely to, was on Facebook, and I though "God has given me all thease amazing friends, and I'm sat there moaning to them I'm lonely rather that realising that all lonely is is not apreachiating the friends you do have!

so in short if your feeling down and alone I'd surgest the following
1) look out of the window (if you don't have a window, or one with not a very nice view then http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=great+views&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1366&bih=667) God made all that for you,

2) find some new worship music, the same old stuff can get boaring- if your talented at it write a song, or do if music isn't your think, find some other new way of worshiping God, write a poem, draw a picture, pray- Worship isn't singing- its telling God he is awesome

3) if your lonely- pick up the phone and ring someone, ask if they want to meet up, or just chat to them, Don't moan at them don't talk at them, but smile, and laugh and do what ever it is you like to do with friends, And if you can't think of someone to ring, Ring me, I'll talk to you!

4) think back to when you were saved and then all the good stuff God has done in your life, and if you can't find any then your not looking hard enough- For a start, getting to uni, thats a huge acheavement and you made it, Praise God!

5) Smile, if something is worth doing, its worth doing with a smile on your face and happyness, so smile, and make someones day by smiling at them, it might make you suppriesd how good it make you feel

and on that bomb show, Good morning and Praise God!

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My testomony

I grew up in a Christian family, dragged to church on a Sunday morning, where I'd sit in church, before going to the sunday school and learning all about God, and the bible and the people in it. Once I'd got to secondy school I'd moved out of the sunday school to the teen group on a sunday morning- however being a rather quiet child, as well as being one of the youngest in the year, as well as my dislexa/dispraxia ment I appered quite young than my age, and thus I didn't make many friends, my few good ones where in the year below me, and thus the first year of secondary school was hard for me, as being the new kid with new mates, and having been brought up in a family who didn't sware or talk about sex openly, the subjects other kids in the school where talking about I didn't have a clue about, also my parents where semi strict on what I was and wasn't allowed to watch, (I'd never even heard of the simpsons till year 8, when I mannaged to make my parents let me watch, so I could be semi cool) and so had very little to interact with my class mates about, and so with the teasing this lead to, I retreated in to my shell even more than before, not realy talking to anyone in my class, and only have a few conversations with my mates in the libary

The seconday school I went to was on split sites, so when I got to year 10, I left my few mates in the year below in the other sight, it was also at this time, the church youth group for my age swiched from a sunday morning, to a sunday evening, and thus allowed me to not attend church very offen, when I did, I mostly talked though the worship and word, with my mates at the back rather than listing, the idea of having a relationship with God had never even crossed my mind,

However the lack of friends, quiet nature and slightly shelted upbringing ment that I was an easy target for the school bullys, and they quickly laid in to me, stealing my lunch money, throwing my Bag and P.E. kit around (the fact I was with the class that contained most of the school rugby team didn't help) and the old favorate of taking the sciance equipment off my desk at the start of every expermant so I'd have to get 5 or 6 sets, and dumping it back on my desk at the end, so I'd have 5 or 6 sets to put back, thus offen making me over run

However during this time one of my favorate lessions was Food tecnology, partly cos it was mixed classes, and though I still didn't have any friends in the group, the main culprits wern't in the class, and the teacher was one of my favorates

However After christmas someone had picked up that I went to church and so this was added to the list of insults they would throw at me, and shortly after easter I dropped out of church completely, and only occasionally went to the youth group.

Then about half term/easter (can never rember which) I'd desided that there was nothing left in my life, nothing worth living for, my friends had abandoned me (so I thought, in theory I abandoned them when I stopped going to church) and my class mates hated me, and so I diesided there was no way out except though Death, suiside- after all my parents and sister was out, even they had 'abandoned' me

I got down stairs and was heading for the kitchen, when the phone rang, and for some reason I answered it (normal I don't if my parents weren't in as it was never for me, and anyone who did want me normally rang my mobile)

It was my mate from church who invited me to join him on a 10 day long Christian Adventure camp, I'd agreed before I'd even though about it, and then spent 10 mins discussing it (all the time thinking in my head "I'm just about to commit suside, what am I doing agreeing to go away in the summer?")

anyway by the time I'd finished talking to my mate, my parents and sister was back, and I'd desided, that if I was to end my life, I might as well go out enjoying my self, with this summer camp I'd agreed to go on

Somehow (I 'blame' God) I mannaged to get through the next few terms, rejoining the youth group and going to 1 or 2 sunday mornings, before going on the youth camp, fully expecting to slit my wrists or something as soon as was possible when I got back after it

However during a worship session (my mate had got saved a few months before so while he sang his heart out I just stood there, thinking) that God 'hit me' so to speak, and I just broke down in middle of about 200 young people, some who were christians, some who where just church going kids and I relised that what ever I had been though God had been there protecting me and providing the people and situations and suddenly my quietness and timid nature had been replaced by a confindance and energy that I'd never felt before (the closisited had prob been while I'd been in the food classes, however that was nothing compared to this) and I admited then that I needed God as part of my life, and then turned from someone who didn't sing, to someone who couldn't sing, but didn't let that stop him

I returned to school the next year, all thoughts of suicide banished, to find, in the year I'd left my mates behind (them being in the year below) they had made a group of christian friends and I got involved, part of which was a weekly cell group which I was invited to join

I took to it like a duck to warter, and as it was run by the youth for the youth, 6 months later (roughtly a year after I'd got the phone call) I was asked to take over the leadership of the small group, which I agreed to

From there my church life blossomed- I was no longer the quiet timmid boy hiding in the back of church, but did everything I could to get involved with christian life, however the church I went to, as good as it was for moden worship and the like, the rigid structure of the way things were set out ment there was very little chance for me to get involved with anything, and though i lead the small group for a year and a half (I steped down to concentrate on my A-levels after nearly failing the first year) and so i felt that my christian growth had stoped, just as I got to university stage, and then found out I'd been accesspeted to huddesfield

From there I immidatly signed up from the Cu fully getting involved with small groups (which if you know anything about me, you would probiably know is probiably riviling food for my top love after God) and from there got involved with community church- who intrduced me 'so to speack' to the holy spirit, before then I'd just though (it was implyed at my old church) that it was just for the church leaders and the very very privlage christians, not something young Christians had accesses to and though slightly scary at first, relising that knowing the holy spirit was an important part of Christian life, was a huge step to my development, as well as the mentoring from many of the more experanced member of CU (Jonny and Hannah Bowly especialy) /the student group at community turned me from some over exsited new christian, to someone who could use there enthusuasm in usefull areas, and thus I was very very happy to accept the offer of being a small group leader just 4 months after starting uni

Picking up small groups was probibly one of the best, but most challenging parts of my small group life, and I owe a lot to not just the members of town small group, but also to heather, who co-lead amazingly, I still say at the time I couldn't of done it with out her, she mannage to sort out all my crazy ideas and helped to channel my enthusuasam and energy and knollage, while organising the group and adding her own ideas and I loved every minnuiet of small group leading

Getting in to 2nd year I'd desided that I needed to be baptised, and so attempted to get that sorted, when I ran in to a brick wall in the form of my parents- who as members of the church back home which was C of E and so taught infant baptisam and so had to spend a few months convcing them this needed to be done

at around the same time I was asked to lead another small group and agreed, and this time got paired up with Katie, who dispight being a southen (we can't all be amazing KG- love you realy!) has been a compleate joy to work with, and one of the most natualy talented small group leaders I've come across, and doesn't seam to be intimidated by the task in hand (I would of though co-leading with someone who can be as loud and as vocal as me and is also more experanced, could be quite intimidating) however she has been superb in it, and has allowed me to take a slightly less active role, thus allowing me more time to concentrate on church/uni life than last year

The Christian Foodie

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

what has God given you?

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