what has God given you?

How easy is it for us to think, o no, God hasn't given me this, o no God hasn't given me that, God mustn't love me cos he hasn't done this for me, The world tells us to look at the things we haven't got and go "I want that" and we think God loves us, he will give us to us, and when he doesn't we go off one on

I've been in a state of wanting stuff for a while, as someone who has spent a large portion of there lives as a single guy (and to be fair my one and only girl friend finished me the day after valentines day to go out with someone she had been sleeping with for 2 of the 3 months we had been going out, and I wasn't giving her sex- the fact she was 15 and I'd only just 16, and a newly saved Christian never came in to her head- thats why I'd advise sticking to Christian partners, either that or get 'em saved first!) the thought of 'am I going to be single forever' does have an annoying patten of entering my head, just when I don't need it to

Which is what had happened recently, Over the past few months, my work load had increased so I'd been unable to spend as much time spending it with friends and more time stuck behind my laptop reading revison notes, and working, and I'd get in to a patten of waking up, switching and not leaving my room all day except to go to the loo and maybe eat lunch (probibly the biggest sign of something is wrong with me, is if I don't seem to be around at meal times) to the point I'd miss lectures, CU and an a couple of occasions church, I'd stopped reading the bible as offen as I did (I only averaged 3-4 days a week before that anyway)

Of cource this lead to me being lonely, and on the few occations I did leave, probbibly snaped at someone, or said something I shouldn't have and that left me feeling more and more alinated and more alone, and thus ment I snaped more and smiled less, even small groups was starting to feel like a chore not something I love, though it was no ones falt but my own

then only days ago I'd snaped at two people, that had no reason to be snapped at, saying to one, that was talking to me, when what had actually happened was I'd got so caught up in the patten, of work that I'd stopped listning to God, even using an idea someone once told me of working to worship music was not getting through, and it had been just music to me.  and after telling him that God didn't care and he didn't care I went to bed to sleep.......


Or that was the plan, cos after about 2 hours of tossing and turning and trying to settle and drop off, it hit me, I was lonly beacuse I'd cut my self off, I wasn't hearning God cos I wasn't listning to him, I wasn't praising God for what he had given me, cos I was so obbsessed with what he hadn't, and for the first time in about a month, I prayed outside of church/CU- though it wasn't as much of a prayer and more of a slient (being 3 am in the morning with your parents on one side and you sister on the other isn't good for shouting prayers!) cry of needingness (is that even a word??) before crying my self to sleep

The next morning I awoke and went about the normal homely life of breakfast, surfing the net for an hour or so, getting a shower and then was just about to get on with work, when I looked out of the window for what must of been the first time since I got home

Now the view from my window, is something for me of beauty. It looks out over out back garden which my mum works at all summer mosly so it looks at its best (it was pritty much begining to bloom at the moment) and was filled with so many diffrent plants and colours I had to stop and look at it, Then behind that is a field streched out filled and then behind that where beautifull rolling hills and I stood there for a second and looked out over it and though "wow. God created that view for me, and I'm moaning he doesn't care about me"

I then though back to my testomony (if you havn't read it yet, go read now, go on there on the right hand side), which I'd typed up for this blog only days before and though "God has done all this for me and I'm moaning he hasn't done anything for me"

I sat down to my laptop and two things happenen which made me think- The first was that spotify in its usefull advertising way desided to tell me it had a related artisit feature- to which normaly my responce was "swichfoot/rend collective, and busy" though even I'd not even realy been listning- it had just been playing in the background however this morning I desided to try it out, and so desided to add a few tracks from a band named Gungor  (go check them out, 'The earth is yours' is a great track!) to my playlist, which actually got me thinking "God is awesome and I'm moaning his isn't cos I've not allowed worship to remind of it"

and then to cap it off, the friend I'd been moaning to about being lonely to, was on Facebook, and I though "God has given me all thease amazing friends, and I'm sat there moaning to them I'm lonely rather that realising that all lonely is is not apreachiating the friends you do have!

so in short if your feeling down and alone I'd surgest the following
1) look out of the window (if you don't have a window, or one with not a very nice view then http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=great+views&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1366&bih=667) God made all that for you,

2) find some new worship music, the same old stuff can get boaring- if your talented at it write a song, or do if music isn't your think, find some other new way of worshiping God, write a poem, draw a picture, pray- Worship isn't singing- its telling God he is awesome

3) if your lonely- pick up the phone and ring someone, ask if they want to meet up, or just chat to them, Don't moan at them don't talk at them, but smile, and laugh and do what ever it is you like to do with friends, And if you can't think of someone to ring, Ring me, I'll talk to you!

4) think back to when you were saved and then all the good stuff God has done in your life, and if you can't find any then your not looking hard enough- For a start, getting to uni, thats a huge acheavement and you made it, Praise God!

5) Smile, if something is worth doing, its worth doing with a smile on your face and happyness, so smile, and make someones day by smiling at them, it might make you suppriesd how good it make you feel

and on that bomb show, Good morning and Praise God!

so who am I?

well I know some of you know me very well, and some of you know me less so well, so this is just a quick bit about who I am and some of the things I love

If you have read the testomony in the side bar (and if you havn't why not- go read it now!) you will prob of worked out I love food for one (weather it is cooking it, or looking at the sciance of it, but most of all eating it) and am also doing a degree in food, nutrition and health (note I only tend to moan if you eat something epecially bad, you ask me to help with your diet or cos its funny) and tend to spend most of my life working out when I can next get food (joke, there is more to me than that!)

I tend to be quite insane most of the time, liking a good bit of banter, and a laugh and a joke, though also can be serious when the time requires it (though sometimes I've not relised, I'm not perfect and getting better) as most of what I say is a joke. However part of my cource and being a small group leader, has ment I like talking with people about problems they have, and am just as happy to do that with girls as with guys (being on a girl heavy cource for 5 years does that to you!)

I've also got a love for cricket and football, and see my self as quite knollageble about them, as well as decent players (my slight build isn't the best for eather, but my anylitical skills picked up my cource and genral life tends to mean i know where the gaps are, both in a cricket field and in and arround an opposition defence!)  though I'm prob no good for anything on histroy/geography/ music

I'm also very enthusastic and loud, (and proud of it, though not overly) and love to smile (so I hope) and so most people tend to be able to pick me out in worship (I'm the out of tune one on the left hand side) and in CU meeting praying out, though its something I'm trying to build up in my church life as well

I also attend community church huddesfield, which is great, and I hope to be a member of in the next few months (hopefully my exams won't get in the way)

The point of this blog will be to update you on things happing in my life, it might be something I've picked up in my bible readings (when I eventrually get round to reading samual rather than getting distracted by TV/facebook/uniwork/the small group book of the term) something I've picked up from community, or from life in genral- though its prob going to be bit off the wall considering its me

anyway happy reading, hope i don't freak you out to much!